Ted's Running Journal/Logbook: Thanks for your support!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Thanks for your support!

9:05 AM |

Posted by Ted |

It has been awhile I haven't blog. This has been a very difficult month for me - personally ! I wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the wonderful comment you have left for me in my recent post.

I took my daughter, Sarah, to see her neurologist last Friday at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. The good new is that her current medication is doing good when she is feeling good and healthy. The neurologist gave a new prescription in the event that Sarah vomits like when she gets a stomach flu. The medication will help prevent her from getting seizure so that will help - hopefully. In the event that she gets into seizure when she is very sick, there is also another medication that will stop the seizure. So all is set ! I have the plan all set up. I am very optimistic that she will do very well.

The only problem is ME !!! I've lost a total of six pounds in four days right after my daughter had the seizure. I couldn't eat or drink since it was quite traumatic for me. I went right from 155 to 149. As of this moment, I am now at 148. This is the lowest I've been. I did gain a couple but it slid back to 148. I do have trouble sleeping and do get recurring nightmares. I am having so many flashbacks. I keep waking up in the middle of the night to check on Sarah. My wife reassured me that Sarah will be fine. My biggest fear is that she will get seizure in the middle of the night. Sarah's neurologist reassured me that she will not get seizure when she is feeling healthy as it always have been. I've told my wife that I have seen the worst and it keeps coming back to haunt me. In a way, I am glad my wife didn't see any of this since she was at the YMCA swimming pool.

Sarah's neurologist noticed that I couldn't hold myself up very well last Friday. I was quite choked up for the most part of the visit. He realized that I needed help. He has contacted a counselor from the Epilepsy Foundation to help me with this. I do need help. I have been feeling very withdraw for the last several days. The most important part is that I will get counseling to deal with my traumatic experience of witnessing my little angel getting seizure. I do not wish upon anyone to witness this event. Why does my little angel have to suffer? She didn't do anything bad! Why her? If I have the power, I would be gladly to take it from her and deal with it so that she could have a seizure-free life. If I could say this, I do have HOPE! With so much medical advancement these days, I do predict that there will be either cure, prevention or reversal for people with seizure (i.e., stem cell treatment).

I have realized that I haven't run very much this month. For the record, this will be my first month in the last 3 1/2 years to be under 100 miles. I have always gone over 100 miles every month. It will take time for me to restore my confidence and to get back into the routine. I had a very good 7 miles run yesterday as you can see my splits.

Now, I need to get my ass back in here and catch up on your blog. It has been too long!

Lastly, THANKS for hearing me out!

27 comments:

Xenia said...: (((Hugs))) to you and your family, Ted. I can't even imagine what you all have gone through recently. Just know we're here if you need us. Thinking positive thoughts for you and yours.; February 23, 2009 9:41 AM
Marcy said...: ooohhh Ted (((BIG HUGS))). I'm sorry you've been having such a time. It's so so so hard to see your child go through something like that and I totally understand why you'd withdraw. But I'm glad that you're seeing someone :-) Here's to things being on the up for the kiddo and you!; February 23, 2009 10:06 AM
Lily on the Road said...: Oh Ted, we are all here for you!! and your family...remember when you wrote this?

"She is so resilient. She will be okay. She is a tough cookie."

Remember that when you are having your nighmares, she is okay and in good hands. You've been through so much! Thanks for sharing and please know that we are all sending out prayers....

{{{Big Hugs to you Ted}}}

take great care....; February 23, 2009 10:38 AM
Andrew is getting fit said...: I can't imagine the stress you must be under. It's good that you are getting some help.; February 23, 2009 12:25 PM
Blyfinn said...: Sounds like you are doing all you can in order to move on. You and your daughter will be in my family's prayers this evening.; February 23, 2009 12:55 PM
BeachRunner said...: ((HUGS)) to you and your family, Tedster. Reading your post reminds me to keep things in perspective. It reminds me that my bad week is just that. A bad week. It's nothing compared to what you and so many others have been struggling and dealing with. All the best.; February 23, 2009 1:45 PM
sRod said...: Anytime you need a hand buddy, just write up.

Glad to hear everything is getting better.; February 23, 2009 1:54 PM
Kelly said...: Good luck with everything going on with your daughter. I hope you get the help you need to help you deal with it all.; February 23, 2009 2:58 PM
FLYERS26 said...: Keep your head up pal!
You are going to be fine,and so is your daughter... and man where your splits were FAST!; February 23, 2009 3:51 PM
Michelle said...: WOW you ran a 7.32 3rd mile!!! That freaking rocks dude!!!

Ted, you know it goes without saying that I AM HERE FOR YOU ANY TIME YOU NEED ME!!!! OK?

I think it is great that you will go for counseling. Perfecto!!!! You are going to bounce back even better than before!!!!

Love you!!!; February 23, 2009 5:05 PM
bill carter said...: Hi Ted

Hang in there and I totally understand. When it comes to your child, everything else kind of takes a backseat.

On the positive side, it looks like you took your aggression out on that 7 miler.... great splits.

Best of luck my friend.; February 23, 2009 7:26 PM
Jenny said...: Hang in there Ted! You are doing a great job taking care of your family and yourself, just make sure you remember to have some patience with yourself! Thinking good thoughts for you and your family...; February 23, 2009 8:54 PM
Christie said...: I'm saying a prayer for you and your family.; February 23, 2009 9:20 PM
Laurel said...: You poor thing.

I have seen people and animals have many seizures (my german shepherd used to get them all the time). And while I am in NO WAY comparing my dog to your daughter, the first time I saw her having a seizure, all I could do was stand there and scream. It was the scariest thing I had ever seen, especially to something I loved so much. I can't imagine what it must have been like to see your daughter go through it.

I'm so glad you have agreed to talk to someone about it. It truly will help. I finally went to a therapist last year after my crappy year and it helped me so much to get it all out.

You have a strong girl. She sounds like a fighter. She must get that from her daddy :); February 23, 2009 11:36 PM
X-Country2 said...: Aw Ted, that entire post game me goosebumps. You're just a great dad, and taking care of yourself will help your daughter out as well.; February 24, 2009 12:35 AM
Sunshine said...: Yes, taking care of yourself is crucial now. Remember that they always tell passengers on a plane to put the O2 mask on themselves before they try to help anyone else.
Thank you for sharing your journey. I relate to your checking on a child in the night.. just in case. Keep us posted on how you all are doing.
Blessings for your daughter.. and your family.. and You.; February 24, 2009 8:37 AM
Nitmos said...: This is a similar story to when my duaghter had her seizure (also at age 6; also on a Saturday; also while dealing with a separate flu-like sickness) last Sept/Oct. It is definitely very scary. Glad to hear everything is going well now though and you have plans in place for the future! Best wishes.; February 24, 2009 9:05 AM
Marlene said...: Hey Ted. I saw your name over on Beachrunner's blog and thought I would drop by to offer you a little more support.

I'm sorry for everything you are going through with your daughter. I can only imagine how difficult it has been. I'm glad you are getting some help and taking care of yourself.

I will keep your daughter in my thoughts and hope that the medication does its job. All the best!; February 25, 2009 3:49 PM
kara said...: Try not to focus on the actual event - just the now. [ Easier said than done - but it helps.]
PS. Running helps too - so keep on running :); February 25, 2009 7:22 PM
Marci said...: Ted, I don't know I don't get the updates on your blog on my blog sidebar, but I feel terrible that I am late to the game.
I am so sorry for all that you are going through, we are here for support. Sending positive thoughts to you and your daughter. {{hugs}}; February 25, 2009 9:09 PM
Marci said...: Ted, I also wanted to add I don't know if you read Mel's blog (2nd chances), she used to suffer daily from seizures until she had brain surgery, her story is very inspirational. The link to her blog is on my reading list.; February 25, 2009 9:15 PM
Melanie said...: Hi Ted, got to your blog from Beachrunner's post yesterday, and glad i clicked here to read this! I'm so sorry for what you and your family is going through with your daughter's seizure. I can totally relate, except that I was the daughter (and am also a parent...). When I was going through my seizures, I really had no one to talk to about anything except my doctor, so if there is anything I can do to help, even if just to talk things about, questions that maybe I can answer, please let me know. I hope the meds help her. Hugs to you and your family. Stay strong :); February 26, 2009 8:37 AM
I Run for Fun said...: Ted, I came through from Melanie's blog. I am so so sorry you and your family are going through such a tough time. So glad you are getting help. And glad you have a supportive blog community to lean on. Sending a lot of healing vibes your way.; February 28, 2009 12:27 PM
SuperDave said...: Hey Teddie,
My prayers are with you and your family. You know I am a Dr. and I can tell you that when you get on a adjusted dose of meds with seizures, they generally do not come back. Have hope in that! You are a great father and with you watching her back she will always be okay. Nothing more precious than are children.
Hang in there friend and damn it eat some food!!!! Big freakin steak with huge baked potato and a sloppy piece of chocolate cake!; February 28, 2009 4:23 PM
The Happy Runner said...: I linked here from Mel's site and just wanted to send you my best wishes. I can't imagine what it's been like for you.; February 28, 2009 9:31 PM
Sonia said...: Ah Ted... your post brought tears to my eyes, I can feel your distress.... It must be so hard to live those frightening moments over and over... =(

Getting help is the best gift you can give yourself and your little Angel (she doesn't want a worried-sick Dad!).

Big hug and take care; March 1, 2009 8:16 PM
Katie said...: Hope you're taking care of yourself, Ted -- Sarah needs you to!

Just a note to let you know that 50/50 is on the move again -- wonder where it'll end up?; March 4, 2009 8:37 PM